Monday, 24 August 2015

Tales of the Short Life

It seems that in the last couple of years, being short, for us ladies, seems to be “on trend”, which is quite bizarre to me. Years ago, we wanted to be as tall as the rest of the girls up and down the runway. No body shape or size, should be just on trend whenever the world sees fit. If you’re as tall as a lighthouse or as short as, well myself, that’s perfectly okay. 

Having said all that, the short-y life is entertaining and includes many a tale to be told. Being 4 ft 9 (maybe 10 inches on a good day) doesn’t fail to be the centre of a (mis)happening or two.

The “guys love short girls” sentiment has to be one of the most patronising things that has been lamented to me. Yeah? This simply, has not materialised as successfully as people like to make out. 
No buts, just make me a cup of tea.

How would you feel, if there was perfectly edible food in a press, you’re starving, you’re home alone, and you can’t reach it?

Think about it.

Pretty awful?

Other beautiful things that are (literally) out of my grasp:
- I’m unable to look over the dashboard in most cars, hilarious and sad, but true.
- Bucket chairs are the epitome of all things wrong in the world.
- The top presses in whatever house I’ll live in will never be used.
- Windows, oh good God, windows.
- High heels are just a no-go, they make no difference.
- Making my way around any kitchen is like RDS show-jumping.
- Paying for items at a counter that is too high should be an Olympic recognised sport.
- This is not an exhaustive list

When I’m out shopping, I often can’t reach the essential things I went into the shop to buy in the first place. I can imagine myself, in my twenties, mid-thirties, heading into Tesco to pick up some gravy – and a chap who works there I would have befriended knowing exactly what to do as soon as he saw me trotting up.
“Well Catherine,” he’d say, “gravy then?” he’d say.
Is that even a question?

Not many brands carry a petite range, so that’s a problem. The top is too broad in the shoulders, it’s long enough to pass as a dress. Then the dress comes to your ankles where it rests just at the knee on the mannequin. The material gathers at the bottom on your jeans, “just cut it at the bottom” they’d say. Little do they know that’d horrify both my mum and my aunt, who are almost tailors in their own right. Next thing you know, the changing-room becomes a fully forced wrestling match with yourself.

And in the end you opt for a pair of leggings, an oversized jumper and fluffy socks.

R U SRS, M8?
Frequently, people can’t quite wrap their heads around the fact that I am as old as I am.
“You’re going at the Junior Cert next year?” they’d say.
When the information is swiftly delivered that those exams are long, gone, done and dusted, it’s like a whack to the chest and they question the entirety of the universe as we know it.
“And you’re eighteen? Well jhaysus” currently onto the whyisthegrassgreen, “well good girl yourself anyway.”

I can see myself in ten years’ time, twenty eight years of age, after having a week from hell at work, simply looking for a quiet evening at the cinema.
“Sorry, there, I just have to check you’re old enough to watch – what is it? Magic Mike XXLABC5”.

I also reckon the likelihood of bouncers not believing that my ID is legitimate, is a fairly probable occurrence. 

On the bright side, think of the amount of YEARS I’ll be able to get out of my student card for discounts?

Keeping it short and sweet (no pun intended) for today. Have you any entertaining stories about your height? Tell me in the comments below!


  1. being 5'4 I relate to just about all of these haha
    Emma xo |

  2. This cracked me up so much! I'm 4'10" and constantly reminded me of my shortness because of others and my inability to reach things! People are always asking what grade I'm in and then I tell them that I'm actually working and I already finished high school, college, and grad school. Haha!
    Sincerely, Sara

  3. I'm 5' 3" which isn't short for a Mexican but compared to all the girls I went to high school (who weren't Mexican) I was the shortest one! I have a handy ladder here at home that I use to reach for things in the cabinets :P I think the one thing that sucks the most is the clothes!! Especially shopping for maxi dresses and long skirts... I will usually find one that I like but it's just so darn long! :(

    Jessica |